"Forgive as the Lord forgave you, and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." vs. 14
The Tom Hanks' movie Castaway captures brilliantly something intrinsic to the human condition. Isolation is maddening. For Hanks' character trapped on an uninhabited island, it drives Hanks to create a companion out of a volleyball and name him Wilson. One can only live so long shut off from others before we lose ourselves.
The journey toward forgiveness keeps this intrinsic condition front and center.
There is no doubt that forgiveness
can be a very freeing experience. When we are hurt and wounded, a weight is
loaded on to our shoulders, a weight so heavy at times that it threatens to
crush us. The heaviness exhausts us physically, it depletes our emotional
resources, it bends us toward bitterness (remember "I DIDN'T ask for this
weight), it depresses, it robs us of sleep, it suffocates us. Some simply learn
to cope with the weight, often finding ways to medicate the pain. Others set
out on the journey of forgiveness. Their hopes aren't to cope, but to find
healing and freedom.
Forgiveness IS the possibility of such healing and freedom.
However, this freedom mustn't simply be to lighten the load on me personally. It is a freedom that points us beyond ourselves. We are by nature human only as we live and share life together with others in mutual love and reciprocal relationships. Isolation is dehumanizing. When we are wounded, when unforgiveness settles into our hearts, we pull back. We isolate and exclude. This is our defense mechanism that we deploy to protect us from future hurt. Unfortunately, the longer we draw back from others, the less and less human we become. We aren't able to be who we are truly supposed to be because we hold everyone at arm's length. There is no getting close.
Forgiveness frees us to open our arms once again. It breaks free from the posture of alienation and distance. It invites others back into our lives. Forgiveness is the freedom to experience relationships once again. It makes space for love, togetherness, intimacy and vulnerability. It is risky...because the wounds may yet come. However, the more forgiveness is practiced, the more readily we refuse to be isolated. We refuse to let the injury of another bind us to ourselves, bind us to a life "less human" than that which we have been created for. Forgiveness is the freedom to be with others once again.
However, this freedom mustn't simply be to lighten the load on me personally. It is a freedom that points us beyond ourselves. We are by nature human only as we live and share life together with others in mutual love and reciprocal relationships. Isolation is dehumanizing. When we are wounded, when unforgiveness settles into our hearts, we pull back. We isolate and exclude. This is our defense mechanism that we deploy to protect us from future hurt. Unfortunately, the longer we draw back from others, the less and less human we become. We aren't able to be who we are truly supposed to be because we hold everyone at arm's length. There is no getting close.
Forgiveness frees us to open our arms once again. It breaks free from the posture of alienation and distance. It invites others back into our lives. Forgiveness is the freedom to experience relationships once again. It makes space for love, togetherness, intimacy and vulnerability. It is risky...because the wounds may yet come. However, the more forgiveness is practiced, the more readily we refuse to be isolated. We refuse to let the injury of another bind us to ourselves, bind us to a life "less human" than that which we have been created for. Forgiveness is the freedom to be with others once again.
Reflection
What impact has unforgiveness had on your relationships with others?
Who are you currently keeping at arm's length because of the hurt of another person?
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